The Kids Are (Mostly) All Right… It’s The Adults I Worry About

My social algorithm may be broken. Lately I’ve been seeing a flood of sentimental posts lamenting how “kids these days” wouldn’t survive back in my day. Depending on the author, “my day” ranges anywhere from the 1950s to the 1990s, but the punchline is always the same: We were tough. Today’s kids are soft.

Those posts got me thinking about my own childhood in the late 1980s and early 1990s. One photo in particular comes to mind, taken when I was maybe three or five years old. We didn’t have a pool, so in the heat of a Northeastern summer, my parents would fill a five-gallon bucket with water and plop me in. Submerged up to my neck, surveying the backyard from my makeshift infinity pool, I felt like I was living in peak suburban luxury.

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Soft Pretzels and the Quantified Life

Some of my earliest memories are of having my foot measured at a shoe store in suburban New Jersey. I’m a little unclear as to why this memory is so vivid, but it might have something to do with those visits also being paired with a soft pretzel. I can still remember my mother scraping comically large salt grains into the trash before I could get a bite of strip-mall, de-salted pretzel. Salt wasn’t something I was allowed to have much of as a kid, so opportunities didn’t come along often. While most of that salty goodness ended up in the Meadowlands, the residual salt was more than enough to keep me happy before my mother needed to duck into Macy’s to discover the latest that early-1990s office-core had to offer.

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The Turn-On Test

The topic of sex remains a taboo in some corners of society, but evidence of our interest in sex abounds:

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The Politics of Poop

In the 19th century, a healthy fraction of the worlds attention revolved around poop. More specifically, bird turd islands.

From a modern frame of reference, this certainly raises a few questions:

  1. Were people in the 19th century ok?
    Probably not.
  2. Will bird poop raise my car’s resale value?
    No.
  3. Should I be investing in guano instead of gold?
    This blog does not give investment advice.

So what gives, why the poop obsession?

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What Are The Top 10 Funniest Gene Names?

In my experience, scientists as a group are generally pretty funny people. I realize that’s probably counterintuitive for some folks, but its a hill I’m willing to die on. Whether we are talking about an Ig Nobel or someone making their cat a coauthor, scientists niche interests and quick wit can really kill with the right crowd.

By far the group that takes this to another level is geneticists, particularly fly geneticists. I have yet to determined if fruit flies are just great joke writers, or if this developed as some sort of coping mechanism to deal with having to work in a fly facility. What I do know is that they love a funny or clever gene name.

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